Hands up FibroWarriors! How many times have you been told that you just need to learn to pace yourself? How many times have you told yourself that? And how many times have you failed miserably only to trigger a flare?
If you are like me, the answer to all of those questions is LOTS of times! While I am getting much better at it, pacing is an art form I have yet to perfect.
Before my diagnosis, I was quite firmly in the “just push through and get it done” mentality. Which is fine when you are otherwise healthy and getting the washing/dishes/vacuuming/painting (insert chosen activity) is your priority. But it just doesn’t work for someone with Fibromyalgia. I hated doing the dishes and not washing everything. Vacuuming and mopping seemed pointless unless I did the whole house. Going out for lunch didn’t mean that the housework shouldn’t get done.
Now, I’ve had to learn a very different approach to everything I do.
Gone are the days when I do a load or two of washing on a Saturday morning, do some grocery shopping and then head off to dinner with a friend, knowing that I’ve got a Sunday lunch catch-up the next day. For a “normie” (person without a chronic illness) that doesn’t sound like a particularly busy weekend. When you have to deal with the FibroTroll – that is a massive weekend. Realistically, I would have to choose between the two engagements. And I certainly wouldn’t be doing any washing or grocery shopping.
Learning to pace oneself is not just about reducing a project down into manageable chunks, it’s about reducing your whole life into manageable chunks.
You have to work out your priorities for everything. Every. Single. Thing.
Because the FibroTroll affects EVERY aspect of life, this post has ended up a whole lot longer than I expected. So I’m going to break it up into several posts.
The things that I have had to give up or change the way I do fall into four basic categories:
- Work
- Social life
- Housework/Chores
- Adult responsibilities
Work: One of hardest things I had to do was give up my job as a vet. I realised that I wasn’t doing the right thing by myself, by colleagues or my patients. My health had to come first. It was hard, and this isn’t an option for a lot of people. I will write more on this topic soon. To be honest, I am still not okay with it and I’m planning on focusing on this with my psychologist at my next appointment.
Social life: I’ve written about this a few times because it’s one of the hardest things in life to completely give up. Even introverts (with exceptions) need some human contact that is enjoyable. It’s often one of the first things that FibroWarriors start saying no too, but one of the most important to maintain to some extent. Humans are, by and large, social creatures. Without human interaction the risks of depression increase and the sense of isolation that this disease already imposes becomes worse. But the FibroTroll will expect his toll to be paid, so I have had to learn how to pace things when it comes to my social life.
Housework: Most people’s least favourite thing to do. But as I like having a clean house, clean clothes and clean dishes to eat from, housework has to be done. The Knight is amazing, but he cannot physically or mentally handle doing everything that need to be done to run a household AND also work to get money so that we have a house that needs cleaning, clothes that need washing and food to make the dishes dirty.
Adult responsibilities: Sometimes this vies with housework for least favourite things to do. It includes paying bills, doing tax, organising household maintenance and other such fun things that we never had to think about as children. But again, as I like to have electricity and running water, these things have to be done.
I know I’ve barely touched the topic of pacing, but if you stay tuned to the following posts, I will go into a lot more detail of the things I’ve found that work for me.
I got a bit carried away and forgot to set a timer for myself when writing this, so I’m going to be a bit of a zombie later. So no more thinking or writing today. I’ll let the suspense build with dramatic music until my next post (but not too loud or with too much base!)
