I started a series of posts about my endometriosis surgery. I had great intentions of posting 3 parts, 3 weeks in a row.
I got very excited about it. I wrote the first one in about a day and a half, then I started the second one. And it has mostly sat there untouched since. See, I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted it to be this wonderful guide for FibroWarriors (or other people about to undergo surgery.) And I ended up putting far too much pressure on myself.
The end result of this, was avoidance. It’s something I find myself doing from time to time. It used to be a very common occurrence and it’s something I work on with my psychologist. I was doing all the “other things” that were much more important that my blog.
The funny thing is, while one of my motivators for starting this blog in the first place was to help other people. The reason I write is to help myself. Depression, anxiety and chronic health conditions don’t just go away. The symptoms can be managed, and sometimes you can lead what looks like a normal life on the outside. But you really have to work at it. You need to do the dietary things, and the meditation and the exercises and yes, the writing if that is one of the things that work for you.
So by procrastinating from writing because I wanted perfection, I was really just sabotaging myself. And I found the other things were slipping too. I hadn’t been back to Tai Chi since surgery. I was only meditating intermittently, I haven’t been doing my yoga and sugar has been slipping it’s way back into my diet.
So I’m back to writing. I will finish my series on Endometriosis, but in the meantime, I’m giving myself the much smaller challenge of just writing something every week. I’ve meditated today, and done some of my exercises from my physio. So already this week is looking up!
So while this post is all about me, I do hope that someone out there needs to hear that sometimes that’s okay. If you need to do a thing just because it’s good for YOU, then do it. (Within reason of course!)
Self care comes in many forms, and it is not selfish, it’s essential.